It's sad when things end before they ever begin..

   A friend and I were trying to make our own web series.   We had a wonderful concept.  We sat down and wrote 10 scripts.  We bought all the equipment we needed to shoot the show.  We then set out to learn how to produce our show.

 To do this we took a core concept of the show, a band, and basically had them standing around doing some dialog.   This taught us how to work the camera, light the room, do sound, block, edit and so on.

  It was truly a learning experience.  It's not easy.  The first episode was just plain awful.  In all aspects.   The writing was poor.  I barely put anytime in to it.   I'd knock out a 5 page script in 2 minutes and that's what we'd shoot.   It was more about production than content.

  Well that started to bother me!  So for our 5th episode Joe and I decided to write together.  Unfortunately everyone got busy and then we decided to switch gears to the graphic novel concept.  But this is script is too funny to not see the light of day somewhere.

So here it is:

The Band
Episode 5

Undeceased Productions, LLC.
2011

INT. BAND’S BASEMENT
The Band finishes up a song

MATT
That’s really coming together.

JENNY
James, I really like the new riff you
added to the end of the chorus

JAMES
Yeah, I’m really feeling it.

Nods of approval all around.
Matt picks up a bong he has stashed behind the drum set.

JENNY
What the fuck are you doing?

MATT
Hittin’ the bong.

JAMES
When did we start with this?

MATT
It’s medicinal.

JAMES
What? Chemo?

MATT
Nah, all that beer was bad for my
health.

JENNY
Matt, do you care about us...at
all?

MATT
A little. We are a band.

JENNY
Sharing is caring you know.

MATT
You want some?

JENNY
Yes, please!

Matt passes the bong to Jenny.

MATT
Right on!

Jenny takes a hit from the bong.

JAMES
I never stood a chance!

James reaches for the bong, taking it from Jenny. Hits it.
He hands the bong back to Matt who takes one more hit then
sets it back behind the drum set.

MATT
Purple Sticky!...1,2,3,4!

Then band plays a new song.

FADE OUT
FADE IN

All three are now sitting on the couch, smoke fills the
room.

MATT
Hey! I found this great way to
meet chicks.

JAMES
Oh yeah? I hope so after that last
girl you hooked up with.

JENNY
No shit, her 5 o’clock shadow was
worse than James’.

MATT
She had a glandular problem! But,
seriously.

JAMES
Okay, okay...what’s your new ploy?

MATT
I joined a club.

JENNY
An all male sex club?

MATT
The furries.

JAMES
Furries?

MATT
You know, the people who dress up
as animals.

JENNY
Okay?!?

JAMES
Let me get this straight. A bunch
of people get dressed up as animals
and have sex.

MATT
Yep!

JENNY
What animal are you? A chipmunk?

MATT
Not even close. I’m a mountain
lion.

JAMES
A mountain lion, really?

JENNY
How did you come up with that?

MATT
Like a mountain lion, I like to
stalk my prey, then pounce when
they least expect it.

JAMES
I’m not sure pouncing drunk fat
chicks on ladies night can be
considered "stalking your prey."

JENNY
(to James)
Mountain lions have been known to
take down prey more than twice
their weight.

MATT
I told you she had a glandular
problem!

JAMES
Wait...if everyone is dressed up as
animals how do you know if you’re
hooking up with a girl?

JENNY
He doesn’t care as long as its a
hole with hair around it.

MATT
I CAN TELL!

JAMES
I guess the republicans were right,
its a slippery slope from gay
marriage to beastiality.

Matt takes a hit from the
bong then passes it to Jenny.

JENNY
Dude, where’d you get that shit
from?

MATT
I know a gay keyboardist that
deals.

JAMES
So, when do we get to meet your new
boyfriend?

MATT
Fuck off!

JENNY
I guess the jury’s returned a
verdict.

JAMES
Yeah...FAIRY!

MATT
You know...the rule is "be cool to
the fool who smokes you up."

Matt takes a bong hit.

SHOT OF JENNY AND JAMES LOOKING CONCILIATORY.

MATT
I’m very disappointed. And I’m a
FURRY not a FAERIE!..

JENNY
It’s okay Matt. You know we’re
okay with it. Don’t live your life
in a closet.

MATT
Fairies are a whole different type
of people.

Matt takes a hit.

JAMES
That’s not a very nice thing to
say.

JENNY
Matt, gay people are no different
from me or you.

MATT
(holding the toke)
Gay people? What? (exhaling).. Oh
shit you think I mean fairy as in
gay.. Funny..

JAMES
Well what did you mean then?

MATT
Faeries. You know the people who
dress up like faeries and go to
fantasy role playing conventions.

JENNY
Please tell me it’s a women only
thing.

MATT
Nope... and I’m not gay..

Shakes his head and hits the bong.
FADE OUT to the sound of the bong.